Pies Key To Gillard's Gamble

Black 'n White Bound

The Gillard Government will target Collingwood supporters in a bold re-election bid.

The Bugle's political correspondent Moses McOracle says the Prime Minister's clothes and the date of the next federal election in yesterday's announcement "let the Magpie out of the gum tree".

McOracle writes from the Peel Hotel, Collingwood, the Labor Party's strategy is the culmination of months of research.

This reveals the typical Pies supporter represents Australians generally. "The essence of the nation, the character, the soul, the spirit of its people," according to one ALP adviser. "If we can appeal to citizens black and white we can appeal to all."

Strategists believe Collingwood will be leading the competition by the election date of September 14, two weeks out from the grand final, and the wave of support for the team will translate into votes for the Gillard Government.

Insiders say Ms Gillard soon will announce she has resigned as Footscray number one ticket holder and has taken out membership of the Mighty Pies.

She will join the Magpie sisters behind the sticks taunting the opposition.

"Ms Gillard has had a few of the girls (the Pies womenfolk) in for yell-outs and intends to use their footy jeers against Tony Abbott and the Coalition," a source close to the Prime Minister said.

These include:

• Don't touch what ya can't afford.
• Stop lickin' shit off the ground and get up. 
• When ya finished layin' there playin' with yaself try playin' the game.
• That's what happens when ya wear yer girlfriend's underpants.
• Don't make any difference, we still hate ya.
• C'mon, shake me hand, I just wiped me bum with it.

Strategists say market testing of these insults show them to be winners in outer suburban working class seats that are key to the Labor's Party's election prospects.

Opposition leader, Tony Abbott, has laughed off Labor's strategy, saying he is a "proud" supporter of the Lygon Street Secondhand Sock Sellers and points to "evidence" the Magpies are as popular as "white ants in a wooden leg".

Ken Bennett: The Canberra Connection

Ken Bennett was 18 when he played wingman/rover for Collingwood in the 1958 Grand Final, and kicked two goals in the Pies 82 - 64 win over the Demons before 98,000 at the G.

Ken came to Canberra in the early '70s and worked as ALP assistant national secretary under David Combe. He was an adviser to Hawke Government Minister Ros Kelly, and later proprietor of My Cafe, Manuka.

Next stop for Ken was the Aboriginal community of Wadeye, south-west of Darwin, where he joined the fight for improved conditions by establishing the Elaine Bennett Scholarship in memory of his late wife.

In 2009, Ken was badly injured in a road accident near Weipa on Cape York, suffering a stroke, head injuries, a broken shoulder blade and cracked ribs.

Ken now lives in Darwin near his daughter Rebecca and her family.

2013 Draw

COLLINGWOOD 2013 DRAW
ROUND	DATE	OPPONENT	VENUE	H/A
1	Sunday, March 31	North Melbourne	Etihad	Away
2	Sunday, April 7	Carlton	MCG	Home
3	Sunday, April 14	Hawthorn	MCG	Home
4	Saturday, April 20	Richmond	MCG	Away
5	Thursday, April 25	Essendon	MCG	Away
6	Friday, May 3	St Kilda	Etihad	Home
7	Saturday, May 11	Fremantle	Patersons	Away
8	Saturday, May 18	Geelong	MCG	Home
9	Friday, May 24	Sydney	MCG	Home
10	Friday, May 31	Brisbane Lions	Gabba	Away
11	Monday, June 10	Melbourne	MCG	Away
12	Sunday, June 16	Western Bulldogs	Etihad	Home
13	Bye
14	Saturday, June 29	Port Adelaide	AAMI	Away
15	Friday, July 5	Carlton	MCG	Away
16	Friday, July 12	Adelaide	MCG	Home
17	Saturday, July 20	Gold Coast	Metricon	Away
18	Saturday, July 27	GWS	MCG	Home
19	Sunday, August 4	Essendon	MCG	Home
20	Saturday, August 10	Sydney	ANZ	Away
21	Friday, August 16	Hawthorn	MCG	Away
22	Friday, August 23	West Coast	MCG	Home
23	TBC	North Melbourne	MCG	Home

Remember 1910

Sunday, April 7, 2013. Remember this date. Tattoo it on a spare space. Magpies v the Lygon Street Secondhand Sock Sellers at the G. Mr Buckley v Mick Malthouse. And remember the 1910 VFL Grand Final victory by Collingwood over Carlton:

Early in the fourth quarter of the match, while Collingwood was leading, a huge brawl broke out involving at least thirty players and officials from both clubs; the fight was described by experienced umpire Jack Elder as he worst he saw in his VFL career. Collingwood held on to win by 14 points, but four players were reported for starting the big fight and as a result were heavily suspended.

Percy Sheehan (Carlton) and Jack Shorten (Collingwood) both were given 18 month suspensions, and Jack Baquie (Carlton) and Tom Baxter (Collingwood) both received 12 month suspensions. However, Collingwood appealed the Baxter suspension and produced a written declaration from another player, Richard Daykin, claiming that it was he and not Baxter who had traded blows with Baquie. The VFL chose to accept Daykin’s confession and cleared Baxter of his 12 month suspension. Soon after Baxter was cleared, Daykin announced his immediate retirement from VFL football. Carlton vowed never to forget this day and they soon had their revenge by winning the Premiership from Collingwood in 1915.

Madame Fifi, of Madame Fifi's House of Earthly Pleasures, Smith Street, Collingwood, and the owner of the Bugle, will again fly this famous banner on April 7.